Category Archives: Sex

7.30.17 Thoughts…

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Photo courtesy of RNC

1. I spent most of yesterday afternoon with my younger cousin. He’s 19 years old and currently attends an arts college in California’s Bay Area. To say that I’m proud of him is an understatement; I watched him grow into a talented young man and he has the potential to be a strong creative force. What struck me the most during our conversations is how similar we are in nature and which caused me to rethink how I am with others. I tend to be an enigma of sorts which is why I’m hardly ever seen at parties or events. And at times, I only communicate via likes on Instagram photos just to let them know that I’m still around but that’s not enough. If you have cool individuals in your life that you truly care for, reach out and say something; let them know that you appreciate them or just say hello. A kind word goes a long way and so does an open unbiased ear that listens. Continue reading

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7.27.17 Thoughts: “Talkin’ Bout a Revolution”

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Her tattoo, New Orleans, 2013

1. Change. The world and all of it’s inhabitants aren’t immune to life’s waving of the evolutionary wand. Some are very reluctant to open their minds to new experiences and whether they want to admit it or not, there’s always some form of suffering that follows. My view of manhood and how men should function in society was once skewed but my environment and peers. I wouldn’t say that I was homophobic but amongst the homies and other guys that I encountered in barbershops and in the street, you’d think that being gay was the worst thing since Blade: Trinity (that movie was super duper whack!). It wasn’t until I started to have friends from the LGBTQ community that I truly understood the need for solidarity. And around that time, I started to get in touch who I was as a person which led to discovering that masculinity wasn’t what I perceived it to be; Masculinity is way more complex than the propagated images of macho gun toting dudes that scream and enforce the lie that crying is for “pussies”. Being a man in 2017 requires respect and responsibility and that was instilled in me very early by my father and late grandfather. I hope to build upon lessons taught and be lifetime student of myself and my gender. Continue reading

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For The Day: 88 Keys x Kanye West “Stay Up (Viagra)”

“Try imagining something passionate
Between you Cassie and Kim Kardashian
Maybe that’ll work when you get to hit that ass again”Kanye West

In Spring/Summer of 2007, Kanye West dropped his Can’t Tell Me Nothin’ mixtape which featured a one minute and 50 second snippet of the 88 Keys and Kanye West collaboration “Stay Up (Viagra)”. I had to wait an entire year for 88 Keys to release it as a single.The flip of Imagination’s “All Night Loving” and of course anything from post Late Registration – pre Graduation ‘Ye were nothing less than dope.  Continue reading

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LISTEN! The Sexually Liberated Woman: Ep. 23: Men Need Sexual Liberation, Too

A lady friend of mine sent me the link to this podcast during my very slow workday. With nothing to do, I hit play and this proved to be just what the doctor ordered. For the 23rd episode of The Sexually Liberated Woman, host Ev’Yan Whitney interviews artist Expressions Untold and their discussion covered a lot of material. Sexual repression in men, the negative effects that toxic masculinity, the need for sexual liberation in both genders, body positivity for men, and tons more.

Check out the Expressions Untold tumblr for more information on the artist.

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What 4:44 Meant To Me (The Song and Emotions and Stuff…)

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“I apologize to all the women whom I toyed with your emotions because I was emotionless…” Jay-Z

Shit happens. That may sound dismissive but trust me when I say that those two words contain a multitude of emotions. My HBK (Heartbreak Kid) tattoo that finds it’s home on the inside of my left wrist is a statement of understanding and not one of pride or regret. I’m not without my flaws but I’ve grown immensely and I can credit my wheelings and dealings with women for a huge boost in my emotional maturity. I equate running from commitments to jogging in place; you may think that your ducking and dodging but you’ll be stuck in a perpetual loop unless you rid yourself of that phobia and go for it. Continue reading

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Know The Ledge… The Clitoris (NSFW)

Le clitoris – Animated Documentary (2016) from Lori Malépart-Traversy on Vimeo.

I know where it is. Did I always know? NAH! But I learned fairly quickly via fieldwork. Years of watching the Spice Channel and Adam & Eve didn’t help. As enjoyable as many of us find pornography, using it for sexual education is like going to McDonald’s for Chicken Cordon Bleu. Fast food for the mind rarely leaves us full. 112 sang about it on “Peaches and Cream” but at the age of fifteen or sixteen, I had no idea what it was. I thought that it was just the P U Double S Y, you know the thing that causes every motherfucker in the world to dress fly or at least that’s what Shawn Carter said. Continue reading

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Single Life: I’m Not a Player I Just…

Hmmm which one applies to me: I’m not a player I just f*ck a lot? I’m not a player I just lust a lot? Or I’m not a player I just date a lot because I can’t seem to find what I want? All three have applied to me at some point in my adulthood. Hell, if I’m being honest, they still do! But, as of late I’ve entered into my prime and though I’m uncertain of how long it will last, I am sure that it’s going to be a great time to be alive. Continue reading

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It’s All Conscious Porn…

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There’s an intro on one of Raekwon’s albums where Papa Wu says that you can’t be good and bad at the same time. I understood his point but I have to disagree. There’s never just one way to be and that’s the beauty of being human. Duality allows us to float between two extremes and that can aid us in finding our place in the world. The more that we give in to our true selves the better we feel. Repressing sucks and I can say that from first hand experience. Continue reading

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How Many is Too Many?

I watched this video while letting my chicken tenders marinate in the refrigerator. I always wondered how many sexual partners were too many and I think once you reached the triple digit mark, you can hang that jersey in the rafters and call it a life. Supposedly, Wilt Chamberlain had sex with over 20,000 women. 20,000?! Listen as much as I love sex I’d be disgusted with myself if I ever came close to that number. I’d be so tired of fucking that I’d join a Shaolin Temple and become one of those reclusive monks that only left the grounds to sell dumplings at the town market. Continue reading

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ESSENTIAL READING: How To Think More About Sex

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As referenced in my Thoughts About Sexuality post, this is one of the books that I read that helped to form a stronger knowledge base on the subject. Author Alain De Botton’s book thoroughly broke down the pleasures and problems of sex. I never knew how fetishes developed or the complexities of sexual attraction before reading  How To Think More About Sex. For those that are under the flawed impression that sex is just a physical thing, a “body thing” (check the reference!) then you, my friend, need to pick this up IMMEDIATELY!!!

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