How Many is Too Many?

I watched this video while letting my chicken tenders marinate in the refrigerator. I always wondered how many sexual partners were too many and I think once you reached the triple digit mark, you can hang that jersey in the rafters and call it a life. Supposedly, Wilt Chamberlain had sex with over 20,000 women. 20,000?! Listen as much as I love sex I’d be disgusted with myself if I ever came close to that number. I’d be so tired of fucking that I’d join a Shaolin Temple and become one of those reclusive monks that only left the grounds to sell dumplings at the town market.

There are people that I may or may not be related to (anonymity for the win!) who are in the triple digits or very close to it. Now, I’m not judging but when I saw some of the individuals that were “taken down”, I can say that quality over quantity is my only hope. It really shouldn’t matter but I’m a guy so it does for some reason, which led me to ponder if my current number was a “good” number. I even made a list in one of my old journals and the resume has been pretty diverse thus far. I’m 32 years old and I’ve had sex with 19 women. I’m sure in some places that’s way too much and to others, it’s Amateur Night at the Apollo (rub that stump!).

Of course, I wanted to fuck as many women as possible but let’s be serious for a minute, in the realm of sexual health that’s risky business. There’s so much bad shit going around like STIs and K.I.D.S., and I can’t afford any of that during this phase in life. I want to continue to have my fun but there’s caution that I refuse to throw to the wind. I used to say that I’d clock out at 20 but then I said “nah, 30!” but I’m a realist and I know that if I find the right one that satisfies ALL of my needs then I’d bid the game a sweet farewell and moonwalk into the sunset.

But who knows? I never do. I could have sex so many times that it would make the ghost of Prince blush or the next one could be the best one. Here’s to a future that even Nostradamus couldn’t predict.

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