“Money talks, and bullshit runs a marathon.” – Nino Brown
I used to be READY to snap. It got to a point where I felt like the world was against me. My guard wouldn’t be let down because everybody had a motive or so I thought. Now I can stand before you and say with a big smile “Hi, my name is Mike and I used to take things personally”. It’s been a long road to recovery but with the right mindset and access to Dad hats, I think that I’ll be ok.
I have a good friend (who’s name will be withheld to respect the “bro code”) that I build with from time to time about personal matters. If you don’t have a comrade that keeps you in check then you’re surrounded by yes men and that is very detrimental to your well being. What makes our friendship unique is that we will go through similar experiences months apart. Breakups? Check. Bullshit with Bitter jawns? Nike Check! Sometimes I don’t know if we were having regular conversations or trading Vietnam War stories where we compared the sizes of earned and sometimes well deserved wounds.
The friend and I came to the same conclusion after our recent brushes with fire: Don’t take anything personally. I reached my resolution after binge reading The Four Agreements over the past few days and it finally clicked. Whenever someone tries to disrespect you or does anything at your expense, you can’t let it throw you off of your game. People have problems. There are damaged people out there that have no idea that their hearts are pumping toxic waste through their ragged veins. Although there isn’t a religious bone in my body, there’s a verse from the Bible that ends with “forgive them, for they know not what they do” and that’s the attitude that you have to utilize.
Every short joke possible has been said to me. EVERY FUCKING ONE. I’ve been teased about everything from my shoe size (Size 12 OOOWWW!) to my voice (“Your voice is too deep for your body”). Though the latter used to piss me the hell off now I appreciate the attention like “Good job! Thanks for noticing the OBVIOUS!” Haters are your biggest fans… Remember that!
So let’s flashback to a recent “shituation” that occurred on the fuckerous platform known as Facebook. This will be the last time that I dive into it so I might as well make a splash. Something that I wrote was taken out of context and once I saw that it caused a problem, I made an attempt to fix it but another person who I gave way too much credit to was bent on public humiliation via “the book”. Pure Comedy. She had people doing their best to throw dirt on my name with jokes and nonsensical assumptions and after a while I tapped out. It made me feel like a gallon of shit but after a day or two, I said “Wait, these are internet comments made by people that I’ve never met” and I know that most of them just wanted to add their measly two cents even if they weren’t involved. Monkey See Monkey Do.
I hold no ill will towards anyone that may have a problem with me. I’m accountable for all of what I do but I can assure you that those that consider themselves to be my opponents aren’t accountable for theirs. How can I fault people who are limited in their logic and lack emotional stability? I can’t. It’s not my duty to judge anyone. Hell, it’s pretty damn hard not to judge myself. Most people live in their own hellish jail cells and only know of petty actions rather than sensible solutions. Damn near 40 and still bopping with the “Mean Girls” mentality and I’m referring to EVERY gender.
All I want in life is love and to have the ability to spread love. All that other goof troop BS can stay where it’s at. Years ago, I wasn’t as wise and it showed when I clashed with different people in Philly. It was usually over the dumbest of things like women or not liking how certain individuals made moves in the scene. All petty shit. And I even have to laugh at how mad I used to get when nutty women wasted my time too. It was never personal, it was just bad business on their end.
Like I said, I’m on the road to recovery and relapsing isn’t on the to do list.