I’ve felt this way for a while and it’s been one hell of a journey to get to this point. You try to deny things about yourself but when the writing is on the wall and the ribbon is in the sky, acceptance is the only way out. I’ve known for a long time that I was a freak but growing up in a society that at the time was a bit inhibited, exploration had to be done on the low. But these days, after my experiences, the game has changed completely and I’m all for it.
There’s a freedom in sex for me. I’ve had a lifelong fascination with the act and once I got my first “taste” of it, I couldn’t get enough. I’m not a sex addict (well in my opinion I’m not) and the number of partners that I’ve had compared to my peers is pretty tame but as I’ve matured, my understanding of sex has broadened. Through personal experiences and conversations with others about theirs, I learned that the act of “making love” has levels that I need to explore.
I started to be a bit more liberated sexually with an ex-girlfriend. She and I both had expansive sexual appetites. I was never compelled to ask her about her sexual experiences because I knew at that time, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Insecure much? But anyway, that mentality has since changed and I’m more than welcoming of that information. If it can help the relationship grow then I’m all for it. With her, there were things that I’d never thought that I’d try (nothing too crazy) but found myself enjoying through a discovering what pleased her the most.
Within the past few years, I’ve become aware of sex positivity. Speaking with women throughout my travels who felt confident enough in themselves to discuss sex freely without the worry of judgment taught me a lot about myself and dispelled all of society’s “shameful” notions. Double standards have been around since the beginning of time and its quite disturbing how some men try to differentiate themselves from women when it comes down that intimate act. Men can have as many partners as possible without worry while the ladies catch gusts and gales of disrespect. Equality anyone?
During the Spring and Summer of 2016, I decided to do a bit of research. I dealt with a few women that had a wealth of sexual experiences and after our wild time together, I needed insight into human sexuality. I read an interesting book that discussed everything from sexual attraction to fetishes. There’s so much to learn about the subject and even after finishing it, I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface. The first time that I EVER bought sex toys was for an ex-girlfriend but I decided to invest in more as I’ve become more uninhibited. I don’t care what anyone says, that saying about Scorpios is absolutely true: We are the biggest freaks in the zodiac gang.
Here’s hoping that whoever I chose to settle down with shares the same interests as I do but until then, here’s to living a life where pleasure is at the top of the list. Could I be a hedonist? We shall see…