I never had many “real” friends. There were homies, associates, co-defendants, accomplices, and comrades but friends, the “day ones” were few and far between. You have people that are present for your energy; the individuals that want to ride YOUR wave. I’ve encountered and regrettably found myself running with the wrong crew and I never knew about how negative they were or how they secretly conspired to dog me out until after the “shit hit the fan”. You are who attract and by default if they were losers, I was just as lost in the sauce for having them in my circle.
In recent urban entertainment news, Chris Brown’s house was burglarized while the assailants held his aunt at gunpoint. Sources say that it may have been an inside job planned and carried out by “close friends”. I’m of the hood but not hood in my mannerisms and it shows in how I’ve moved since a youth. I’m very familiar with the manual that Biggie mentioned in The “Ten Crack Commandments” from his posthumous album Life After Death (one of my top 10 rap albums) and I’m sure that somewhere in the midst of the first 3 rules, there’s an ordinance that states “Don’t let everybody and their cockeyed mother in your residence”. As suspicious as this sounds, you can’t trust anybody these days. I don’t like having random people in my apartment. If you’re not family, a good friend, or a woman that I’m about to lay the A.N.S. (Alabama Night Stick) on, then you have no business in my “trap house”.
I can think back to 3 separate occasions of when I thought I was in good company and it backfired on me. I don’t know if I can credit it to being an only child or what but I often thought that I needed people around to feel whole and that’s the fastest way to catch a loss. In each situation, there was someone that tried to get over on my then kind (NAIVE!!) nature and I never understood why anyone would want to scheme on me when all I ever did was show love from the beginning. Nas once referred to this as “The Foulness” and there’s no other label as fitting as that. And most of these people are con artists, doing whatever they can to get by on other people. I had to learn quick that it’s very much Pirates of The Caribbean and that I have to protect my Black Pearl (and Lil B) at all costs.
Chris is probably my oldest friend from my developmental Villanova University days. I’ve known him for so long that I actually consider him my brother and despite our height difference (he’s 7’1 and I’m 5’5 or 5’6 on a good day) we are one in the same. The character Bryon Douglas from S.E. Hinton’s That Was Then, This Is Now said “If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.” I’m fortunate to have at least 2 to 4 good people that I call family like my brother MP for example who’s currently doing his thing in New York. These brothers are my inspiration and they keep me in check at times when I know that I’m bugging the fuck out. They showed me what friendship truly means and I do my best to show my appreciation by being a stand up guy whenever I’m needed. I’ll do anything expect join a cult or something crazy like rob a bank. I’m too pretty for jail.